A New Approach for my Blog

Monday last week, Stacy Parks of Film Specific put a post on her blog about blogging for filmmakers.

I made a comment about some of the challenges of writing a blog and she suggested that if your film has a particular target audience, that posts about their interests would be a good idea. As I commented back, I should have thought of that myself.

However, when I started to look at the projects I have underway, I realized that it isn’t always easy to follow that advice. In part, I find it difficult to articulate who my audience is, and what kind of posts would attract them.

I started to think over how I could approach this with some of my projects.

The Doorman’s Sacrifice

A man’s fascination in a series of books leads him to the dangerous cult like following that has grown up around them.

There many books, TV programs and movies that develop a cult following. Many of these people could be interested in a story like this. I haven’t been involved with this sort of thing myself, so I would need to learn more about it.

My Detective Story

A troubled police detective is targeted by a nasty villain.

This would be a problematic story to target. Not so much that there are not a lot of people who are interested in detective stories, but because there are so many other detective stories around for them to watch. I think I do have a unique perspective, but it is only revealed at the end. The initial premise isn’t distinguishable from a lot of other detective stories.

Bright Freedom

A young lawyer seeks justice for abused women, but then has to face a past she thought she left behind.

I see potential to explore aspects of the story in a series of blogs. Certainly I know that I need to know more about these issues if I want to create a good story. It would be too easy to go badly astray.

Then the Phone Rang

A politician threatened with blackmail struggles to save his relationship with his wife.

I don’t see anything that sets this story apart from many others of the same ilk. The story needs something more. I could develop the project to be more about how the private lives of politician affect their political careers.

The Crying Woman

A chance meeting between two people leads one of them to confide in the other.

I want this story to be about building trust and learning to listen. I am fascinated by the idea of putting one’s own interests aside and devote time to listen, and there by help, someone else. I’m sure that there are others who would find it interesting too.

I only have a preliminary outline for this story. I don’t think I am quite ready to write it. I did cannibalize parts of it for Then the Phone Rang, so I need to either scrap one of the two stories or come up with new elements of the story to replace the ones I used.

Transportation Planning Story

I spent a long career as a transportation planner, so if I “write what I know” that would be the subject. I wrote one short story, The Glencoe Project, about transportation planners. So far as I know, this is the only story about transportation planners ever written.

Most people I met over the years had strong opinions on transportation plans and planners. So I think that discussions of these issues and how I incorporate them into a story could attract a lot of interest.

This post is a mirror from my main blog http://www.dynamiclethargyfilms.ca/blog

Detective Story: Creating my villain

I was reading Sue Grafton’s book T is for Trespass and noticed similarities between the villain in her story and the one I created for mine.

I suppose that I really should not have been too surprised. When I started to create my villain, I didn’t want to base it on anyone I knew. None of them was villainous enough. Instead, I drew on some of the characteristics identified in the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist

This list is comes from a test psychologists use to identify psychopaths. In particular, I used three traits from the list.

• Grandiose sense of self-worth,


• Cunning/manipulative, and


• Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

My villain is entirely convinced of his own superiority. This leads to him over estimating what he can do, and under estimating what others can do. Most normal people do get upset when they make mistakes. Sometimes this is fear of others labelling them a failure. In this villain’s case, exposure of a mistake strikes much deeper, since his whole sense of self worth comes from his view that he is never wrong.

In order to cover for his mistakes, my villain relies on his skills at manipulating others to avoid. One of the reasons he is so skilled, is that his hubris over the years has often resulting in situations where he had to be manipulative to escape.

His need to maintain his sense of self worth leads to his refusal to accept responsibility for his own actions. Rather than admit that he has made a mistake, he finds ways to blame his failings on others. In the story the link to the person he blames is very irrational, but in his need, he overlooks this minor detail.

Taken together, these traits make my villain a dangerous person to deal with. Especially since few people would be able to spot those traits. On the other hand, though, they also make him vulnerable, since his is not omnipotent. He makes mistakes. He underestimates others.

I know I wouldn’t want to meet this guy in the real world.

Detective Story – First Draft Done!

I got the first draft of the script done today. It came in at 71 pages. That is still too short for a feature. When I do the next draft, I will see what I can do to enhance the story to make it a feature.

I had skipped a couple of scenes part way through because I wasn’t happy with my original ideas for them. I got back to them today and came up with a couple of scenes that I think are better than average. Both of them were a little longer than what I had been doing. That makes me think that when I do the second draft it will turn out longer. I started to feel I was getting into the writing more than I had been.

I plan to put the script aside for a while, maybe two weeks, and then do the second draft. I haven’t decided what I’ll work on next. I am sure that I will be working on the recut of My Most Difficult Case, but there are several stories and articles I would like to pick up on too.

Detective Story Week Ten

This was a very good week for my script. I finished 34 scenes and I have 6 or 7 left to do. At one point I thought I would have the script finished this week.

I’m debating if I should replace two scenes that aren’t working with a single scene. I skipped those two scenes for now. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with them. Maybe I can just drop them altogether. Another possibility is to expand then into a longer sequence with a little more meat.

The script is 61 pages now, and I think I will end up with about 70. That is too short for a feature, but I think that when I rewrite it will end up longer.

My scenes were a little longer this week. I think that as I get more into the rhythm of writing the words flow easier. I got over 6,500 words written this week.

I had some trouble with my blog this week. At one point, I thought I had lost everything. Something was wrong with my host’s server. They got that fixed and everything is good now.

Detective Story Week Nine

I was making good progress the script this week but other things came up later in the week that distracted me.

Most of the work I did was restructuring the script. I replaced one scene, but I think I can use the original scene somewhere else. I am about a third of the way through the script, based on the number of scenes. I had created a new scene last week, and this week I got I sketched out and written. Working out the background took a while.

I got almost 1,900 words written, but that makes this my least productive week so far. I’m finished 20 scenes and 23 pages. My scenes are still running short.

Detective Story Week Eight: Restructuring and Short Scenes

The week started out well. I started in on writing the script. Monday I got six scenes written. My current outline has 59 scenes planned. Tuesday I got three scenes done and Wednesday I got four more done.

Thursday I ran into a snag though. I realized that I needed to move one of the scenes I had written to earlier in the script, and add another scene in its place. The move wasn’t too hard, but I haven’t worked out what I want to happen in the new scene.

Right now, the new scene is there to put some space between two other scenes that can’t go back to back. It needs to be more than that. It is the next scene I was going to write, so that is stopping me from going ahead. I think I may skip over that scene and come back to it later.


The scenes are coming out shorter than I thought they would. Most books I’ve read on script writing suggest about 3 pages per scene. The average length of the first 14 scenes I wrote is 1.1 pages. If that average holds, the whole script will be about 66 pages, which is too short to be a feature. The average scene length in The Anger Trap was 1.4 pages.

I haven’t decided what to do about the scene length. One possibility is to add more flourishes to the character’s behaviour to make the scenes longer. It may be better to add some more twists to the main plot so that I have more scenes. I could also add more scenes by adding a subplot or two.

I plan to continue writing the script, then deal with the problems in the second draft.

Detective Story Week Seven: Light at the End of the Tunnel

I got the new version of the outline done this week. I added about 2,500 words. One of my scenes started to look redundant, so I removed it. I did some other cleaning up of the file and it is easier to read now.

This coming week I start on the script. There is one more thing I want to do before I start though. I have extensive back-stories for my characters now, but I haven’t given any thought to how they talk. Knowing their personalities will help make the characters distinct, but I know from writing “The Anger Trap” that each person’s way of talking needs to be different.

Scriptwriting: Avoid the Page 10 Rejection

I came across this posting (http://candidcoverage.blogspot.com/2010/03/avoid-page-10-rejection.html) on James Jordan’s Candid Coverage Blog (http://candidcoverage.blogspot.com/).

This posting explains why moviemakers reject many scripts within the first ten pages. He then provides 20 tips to avoid that. His focus is on selling a script to a Hollywood studio, but I think many of the tips are useful, even if you are going to be making your own movie.

A few years ago, I submitted my script The Anger Trap to a screenplay completion. I was disappointed with the comments I got back because it seemed to me that the reader hadn’t read past the first ten pages. After reading this blog, I can see what I was doing wrong.

I have taken two of the tips to heart so far.

Tip 9 says that you should introduce your protagonist by page three.

I am still working on my outline, so it is too soon to know how long each scene will be, but I did make some estimates. My protagonist shows up in the third scene, so I need to keep the first two scenes to less than a minute each. I was planning to have the first two run longer than that, but I know that I have to keep them short.

His tip doesn’t say anything about the antagonist, but I assume that introducing him early is a good idea. I already have him showing up in the first scene.

Tip 11 says that by page ten the script should have revealed the main issues of the story.

This is where I think The Anger Trap went wrong. I don’t give any indication of where the story is going until page six, and it doesn’t really become obvious until page 20. I had already been thinking of moving a later scene to the beginning of the film for a possible rewrite.

When I went over my outline, I felt that I had the main issues on the table by the end of the seventh scene. I will need to keep the first few scenes very short to have that done in the first ten pages. I may need to move some of the minor events to later in the script.

All of my major characters, except for one, do show up in the first ten pages. I revised an early scene to introduce Lucas’ boss, James Wilson, within the first ten pages. Introducing the last character in the first ten pages would be a problem though. I think I can leave her introduction until later in the script. I saw it done in The Night of the Generals (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062038/).

Week Six: When do I start on the actual script?

The question of when I would start writing the actual script was on my mind this week. I had hoped that I would get the revision of the outline done, so I could start on the script next week. I only got about 2,000 words written and still have a ways to go yet.

I have been following Screenplay-Tip ( http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Screenplay-Tip/112581738752369 ) on Facebook for a while and they had a relevant idea this week.

"Don't edit as you go along. This will overwhelm you. Finish the story and then go back and revise structural issues."

I am having some problems with the plot now and was considering whether to work on those first, or write the script and deal with them later. The advice Screenplay-Tip has is to get the script written first, and then work on the problems.

When I wrote The Anger Trap, I ended up wishing I had spent some more time working on the outline before I started on the script. I can see the other side of the issue though. Starting on the script will bring out the characters more. Understanding the characters should make it easier to solve the plot problems.

I worry about having some underwhelming clues for my detective, but then I don’t think that details like that should stop me from going forward. Usually these are details that can be brought out later.

Detective Story Week Five: Developing Character

I finished revising the character descriptions. I had to change some of the characters because of what I had learned about them while doing the outline. Late in the week, I got back to expanding the outline.

I added some pieces to the story that I think will make my main character, Lucas Martin, easier for the audience to empathise with. One of the mistakes I felt I made with “The Anger Trap” was that the main character was hard to identify with.

I changed the name of one character, William Williams, to Billy Clark. He is a suspect in the case. I decided that the name was too cute. I have been using photos of actors to help me visualize the characters. I changed three of the photos this week. Mostly it was because the actors were too old for the parts.

I am starting to expand the outline by providing more detail on what happens in each scene. I went back and reread parts of my outline for “The Anger Trap” to remind me how I did it last time. I’m finding that my scenes seem to be shorter, with less happening. While doing the revisions I added two new scenes for a total of 58.

I moved one scene to a different location. That may have created a little problem for the following scene, but I think it will work out OK. What I felt good about was that it was a scene where I had a loose end that I was able to tie up. In it, the detectives find a clue, but I had no clue what the clue would be. I have similar problems in other scenes later in the script and I have been worried about coming up with good solutions. Finding a solution for this one gives me more confidence.

This was my most productive week so far. I added 3,569 words to my character descriptions and 2,116 words to the outline. That brings the outline to just about the same length as the outline for “The Anger Trap”. I do need to do some house cleaning on the outline since I have a lot of duplication. That would make it shorter. I am about a third of the way through the revisions to the outline. I should be able to get that done next week. I want to do another run through both the outline and character descriptions before I start on the script.

Detective Story Week Four: Lucas opens up

My protagonist, Lucas, is starting to develop. I finished going through my outline and have described what each of the characters want in each scene. I am finding that Lucas often has conflicting desires. This is a good thing from the point of having a good story. Through out the story he is torn between wanting to “solve” the case or to just walk away from it.

I started to write up more detailed character descriptions. Mostly I was transcribing from my notes, but I also drew some ideas from what I learned about the characters while doing the outline. I’ll need to do a lot more work on the descriptions before I go back to the outline.

I went through an exercise where I used a system of personality factors I found on Wikipedia to develop descriptions of each character’s personality. (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/16_Personality_Factors ) I’m not sure how helpful this will turn out to be, but I find that all my characters were coming out differently.

While going through my notes I found some good ideas for scenes that I had forgotten about. I added a couple to my outline. In one case, I replaced a similar scene that was weak. In the other, I added the scene. That disrupts the structure I had created for the story. I decided not to worry about that for now. When I am further along I will know if that is a problem or not.

I added 2,717 words to my out line, bringing it to 10,369 words. I added 1,389 words to my character description, but most of that was copying character information from my notes.

Detective Story – Week Three

I got back to work on my detective story this week. I have been working on it for three weeks now. When I did “The Anger Trap” I had a first draft done in three weeks, but I’m not that far along on this one. I think I will get a better script this time though.

I have been working mostly on a detailed outline. I want to focus on the main plot. When I was trying to write an earlier script, “The Caregiver” I got lost when I started adding subplots before the main plot was really fully developed.

The out line now runs to 7,652 words after I wrote 4,842 words this week. When I wrote “The Anger Trap” my outline ended up at 12,679 words. If I was using the same approach I would about 60% done, but I’m doing things differently and I expect the outline to end up longer than that.

In “The Anger Trap” outline I only described what was happening and a little about what the characters were thinking. This time I am starting by writing down what each character in the scene wants before I start on detailing what happens. I have done that for most of the scenes. I should have that done in another day or so.

By doing it this way, I realized that some scenes might not have much to contribute. I deleted a couple of scenes and added a couple to replace them.  There are still some weak scenes, but maybe I can develop them more as I work on them.

My characters are developing. My protagonist, Lucas Martin, is turning out to be a private person. I think he has something to hide. That makes it harder to get to know him, but it is an important factor in what he ends up doing.

Some interesting contrasts have shown up between Lucas’ personality and his partner Mike Johnson. Mike is a more open person and maybe even a little irresponsible at times. While there is a potential for conflict between the two, I see the differences as a source of strength for them as a team.

Lame Excuses

I accomplished very little on the detective story script this week. My excuse is that I got sick. I am recovering and I hope to dive back into it this coming week.

I did revise the outline some more. I deleted some scenes that I didn’t think added much and I added some that I feel are much better. I also expanded the role of the detective’s wife.

A couple of weeks ago I gave all of my characters names. I’m calling my detective Lucas Martin now.

What I see as the biggest challenge now is losing continuity. When I wrote “The Anger Trap”, I had no real interruptions while I was writing. Each day when I started, the characters and story were already clear in my mind. I fear that having taken a break of a few days, I have somehow “lost the characters” and it will take me while to find them again.

Detective Story - Week one

This week technicians installing a new furnace and contractors doing renovation estimates distracted me from my writing. Even so, I did manage to make progress on my detective story.

The title for the story is a problem. As it stands, it gives away too much of the story. I think keeping it would help me stay focussed on the story, but then I would have to call it my detective story when I talk to people about it. One title I came up with was “The Smile of Evil”. I’ll stick with “My Detective Story” for now.

In some of my past writing attempts, I found my characters developing too fast. To avoid that this time I came up with the idea that the main character has to come to 44 realizations during the course of the story. By that, I mean that the character needs to move in small steps. Some of realizations are major, while the rest prepare him for the major realizations.

I started by trying to make up a list of the realizations then use those to develop scenes. This gave me a plot outline with 50 scenes. Of those, 43 represent the character’s realizations, while the rest involve what other characters are doing. I came up with a few more scenes since I did that, so I think I’m up to 52 or 53 scenes now.

In the past, I heard that a film should plan for 3 minutes a scene, so you would need 30 scenes for a 90-minute film. However, I have found that I tend to write short scenes. My “Anger Trap” script had 69 scenes for a 97-page script. In “Line of Taxis”, my average scene was less than a minute long. That has me wondering if I have enough material for a feature film.

I am still looking at the film at a broad level, so I haven’t started to ask Mamet’s three questions about them yet.

I selected some photographs to represent the characters. I felt it would help me to visualize the characters. Originally, I wanted to avoid picking actors, but then I found it was easier to go that way. I think the characters are starting to develop personalities. That will help.

I have added a new character. The lead character in the story needed to talk to his wife, so I had to create a wife for him.

Starting a New Script

I have decided to focus on writing a single script until I have a first draft.

My goal right now is to write several scripts to hone my writing skills. I learned a lot from writing the script to The Anger Trap and I think that I will learn more from writing some new scripts. I will wait until I have done several before I decide on making one of them into a film.

I have selected as my next script an idea I had while travelling in China last year. It has nothing to do with China, as far as I know. It is the story of a detective on the trail of a psychopathic serial killer. I know that doesn’t sound very original, but the detecting isn’t the main focus of the story. When I made Line of Taxis , I used some of the emotions I was having in my life and transferred them to a different situation. I plan to do the same with this story. I am having mostly good things in my life now, but I do have flash backs to the emotions that inspired Line of Taxis.

I will be trying a slightly different approach than I used for The Anger Trap. Then I developed a detail outline before starting to write the actual script. This time I will organize my out line based on ideas I picked up while reading a book by David Mamet.  In particular, his three questions.

For each scene, I will write a one-line overview of what happens in the scene. Then I will have a short description of the purpose of the scene. That is to focus on why I need the scene in the script.

Then for each character in the scene, I will answer the questions: What do they want, what happens if they don’t get it, why now and how have they changed at the end of the scene.

I will complete the outline of each scene with a list of the events within the scene. This is a sort of plot outline for the scene. For each event, I will note what each of the characters is thinking. I think that knowing what the characters are thinking will make it easier to keep the story going forward.

Having distinct characters is important to help the audience identify with them. I used character descriptions in writing The Anger Trap and found them useful when it came to writing.

In addition to a character name, I plan to select a picture to help me visualize the character. Beyond that, I want to note what purpose they serve in the story. For example, are they the protagonist, or the antagonist or comic relief? I will also develop a bit of a biography, so I know where they come from. Most importantly, I want to know how they will change throughout the story.

I expect that my approach will change as I work through this script.