Feedback
I read the outline I wrote at
a couple of meetings of my script writer’s group. The response was generally
positive, although they did point out some issues with what I had so far. Everyone
had some advice, which was helpful to me.
I compiled a list of the
suggestions I had as a first step toward the revisions. While I worked on that
I came up with some ideas of my own. This formed the objectives I had for the revision.
Revisions
•
I
added more detail to the character descriptions in the outline. This included behaviour,
attitudes, physical descriptions and clothes. One of the suggestions I had
about the outline was that this kind of information was missing from the
outline. I had created some of this information earlier, but kept it separate
from the outline.
•
Some
characters made what look like stupid decisions. I tried to come up with ways
to make those decisions appear more reasonable to the characters.
•
I
gave each of the minor characters a distinctive personality, although none of
them are very complex.
•
I
gave some of the characters new names. The original ones were kind of on the
silly side, which doesn't fit well with the tone of the story.
•
The
solution that my protagonists come up with feels like it was just a random
guess that turned out to be right. I tried to make it the result of a methodical
process.
•
I had
a couple of long scenes that I decided to break up into multiple scenes. In one
case that was to indicate time gaps. In the other case it was because the
location was changing, although in a very minor way.
•
Many
of what I considered minor scenes had very sparse descriptions. I expanded the
descriptions for most of those scenes. I would like to develop them into more
important scenes.
•
I had
two major interrogation scenes, but one was much longer than the other. I tried
to move some of the action from the longer one to the shorter one.
•
I
added some minor red herrings and barriers to some scenes to give them more
substance.
•
I
realised I had a plot hole where the villain recognizes the main protagonist
without any prior contact. I added a scene to explain why he was able to
recognize her.
•
I
added to a couple of scenes to make it clear that the captured terrorist does
not know where or when the attack will be. He does know something that allows
the protagonists to identify the time and place, even though he doesn't realize
the importance.
•
In
addition to the main conflict between the bad guys and the good guys, I had
hinted that there was conflict within these two groups. In my revisions I tried
to develop those conflicts in more detail.
•
In an
earlier version I made the terrorist group a group of white supremacists. In
this round of revisions, I added a brief scene to identify that good guys as
the Anti-Terrorism Joint Task Force (ATJTF). I see it as a team made up of
people from different organizations. I would like to come up with a name that
has a better acronym.
Summary
of Progress
In this round of revisions, I
went from 15 scenes to 21. The rule of thumb I heard was that scenes generally
run 2 to 3 minutes. That would make this script run 42 to 63 minutes. That is
too long for a short, and too short for a feature.
For now, I won't let myself
get too concerned about the script falling into an unsaleable range. I don't
see what I could cut out, and I don't want to add in any unrelated filler. It
also strikes me that some of the scenes could end up running much longer than 2
to 3 minutes. I won't have a real grasp on this until I get a draft of the
script done. I would hope that by then I would have a better understanding of
the characters, which could spark ideas to expand the story.
What
Next?
Now that I am stuck at home
and practicing social distancing, I thought I’d be more productive. I’ve found
that checking the COVID 19 news every couple of hours, is not conducive to rapid
progress on my story.
I ran into a bit of a snag
when my laptop decided to upgrade to a newer version of Windows. I had to
delete most of my programs before it would upgrade. This included Scrivener,
which I used to write the outline. I've preferred to write using my laptop
rather than my desktop. The desktop is in a room on the north side of my house,
and I like to work in a room on the south side, where I get some very welcome
sunshine in these dark days of social distancing.
I decided to take a bit of a
break from the project. I am debating whether I should dive into writing a first
draft of the script or, if I should do more work on the outline and character
descriptions. I do feel impatient to "get going" and write the
script.
This post is a mirror from my main blog http://www.dynamiclethargyfilms.ca/blog
